The new Lorax movie makes me angry. Kid’s movies are something that I am notoriously grumpy–GET OFF MY LAWN–about. The only movies I plan to let Truman watch are The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and Little Monsters until it puts him off movies forever. I jest, I jest. It’s not that I don’t like any children’s movies, I just don’t like the rampant commercialism that comes with them. I was supremely irritated last year to see kids wearing Cars 2 shirts before the movie even came out. Those kids were walking billboards for something they hadn’t even seen! But I digress. Here are a couple of reasons why I am pissed off about the new Lorax movie. These are not new ideas, and probably a retread of things several people have already said but I still wanted to complain, because it is one of my favorite things to do:
- The Lorax speaks for the trees, and for Mazda, and for Seventh Generation, and for HP, and for….
The Lorax has 70 product tie-ins! Some of the tie-ins are for eco-friendly products but IHOP? Come on man! How do you even eat this?
The idea of the Lorax shilling for Mazda makes my stomach hurt more than if I tried to eat the above pictured monstrosity.
- The Voice Acting
Now this is more of a complaint about most modern animated films. Do you remember when they used professional voice-over actors to voice the characters in animated films? Can you tell me who voiced Belle in Beauty and the Beast? No you cannot, but she did a hell of a good job. It’s all a big gimmick now based on a popularity contest. While I admit that Zac Efron is decidedly dreamy, and Taylor Swift is adorable in her squinty eyed, surprised face kind of way, they do not have speaking voices that are anything special. So why are they voicing main characters in a major animated film? Let’s lure the kiddos in by having Justin Bieber be the voice of a talking barbecue pit! (I would probably watch that.) I know, I know, different actors have been voicing animated characters for years. For example, JTT was excellent as Simba, and Dom DeLouise (RIP) was awesome at everything he did. But Katy Perry as Smurfette–BARF.
At the end of the trailer when he says “Now in TREE-D!”, it annoys the shit out me. That is all.
I don’t know. There are more reasons why this movie doesn’t sit well with me, but I am having a hard time expressing myself. They are using the story’s core central message to make money. It all just seems very synthetic and charmless, not at all like the original book. This review pretty much sums it up better than I ever could. Truman and I are going outside now to enjoy this lovely weather. Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!