Several months ago my husband and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping at HEB. Truman was wee then and couldn’t sit up in the basket, so Chad was carrying him in our Infantino carrier. As the boy dangled from his father, he slept peacefully. He looked absolutely precious and harmless, not at all dissimilar to a doped up koala bear. Now, Chad is a large bearded man, and he has a fantastic beard. His beard is gold, bushy, and to me at least, terribly luxurious. He is like a modern day Viking, or Hernán Cortes (P.S. I love that Hernán Cortes took Winston’s advice to Ray. It really stirs the Aztec in me.) So the combination of this tiny bebe and this magnificent beard made quite the adorable spectacle and many admiring glances were cast in their direction.
While picking out yogurts (it takes me about thirty minutes to choose yogurt flavors, I am very indecisive. It is one of my lesser qualities guys.) another bearded gentleman walked up to Chad and said, “I just gotta ask man, the beard, does the baby pull it?” to which Chad replied, “No, not really. But ask me again in a few months.”
It has been a few months.
Now Truman is ALWAYS pulling on Chad’s beard, and he is damn good at it. He manages to grab just the right amount of hair in his tiny baby hands to inflict the worst pain possible. He does this snag and spin move that is actually quite impressive. I am thinking of putting him on the pro circuit. Guy at the HEB, this is for you:
Beard Dude HEB- M4M
YES, THE BABY PULLS THE BEARD.