I write one check a month, and that is to my son’s daycare. (Yes, he goes to daycare in the mornings. No, I am not a bad mom.) When I opened my bank account I wasn’t even offered checks. I had to go and get temporary checks just to pay T’s tuition. Now, being that the checks were temporary, they ran out. I was forced to order an ENTIRE book of checks. GUH. While browsing through the various check designs, I realized that your choice of checks really says a lot about you as a person. So, I’ve decided to analyze a few and share my results with you.
Everything I have tried writing about the type of person that I’d imagine would use Betty Boop checks is just way too mean. I can be quite ornery when it comes to certain things, so I asked for Chad’s opinion. He said, “Who would use Betty Boop checks? Someone that just doesn’t know any better.” That seems about right. I also think it’s fairly safe to assume that the same person that uses Betty Boop checks also wears Tweety Bird t-shirts. That’s all I’m going to say about that. ::Forrest Gump voice::
Now the people who use these checks are classy. They drive a Land Rover and shop at J. Crew. They have a daughter named Brett or Bradley (Hey Dude!) that takes English Riding Lessons on her prized Palomino, Misty. These swanky check users enjoy leisurely dinners on the veranda of their country club. Alternate theory: Snobby Sales Woman #2 from Pretty Woman uses these checks to buy hair bows. “It’s veerrry expensive.“
The man or woman who chose this check design looooooooooooooves pedicures. I know what you’re thinking. We all love pedicures! No, this person LOOOOOOVES pedicures. They also have a bedazzled hat and/or purse.
Frankly, I’m a little concerned about the person who chose this check design. At the time when they ordered these checks they probably thought, “WHOO, it’s five o’clock somewhere, AMIRITE?!!” But surely they regretted their decision when they sheepishly handed over the check to pay for their State and Court Approved DWI courses. When, when, where, when would you want to pay for something with a cocktail check? At Bennigan’s? A male strip club? the alms collection at church? WHEN!? ::HEAD EXPLODES::
Wow, look at these checks. Aren’t they majestic? Just gander at that proud stag, and winsome grizzly. Gaze upon the noble ducks! BEHOLD the TROUT. These are magnificent BEASTS. The person who ordered these checks must be a true bad ass. I bet she carries beef jerky around in her purse and can do high kicks like David Lee Roth. Whoever ordered these checks are undoubtedly a real winner. A true champion at life. THE APEX OF AWESOMENESS. Yes, the owner of these fine checks must be one special gal. Duh, yes, of course these are the checks that I picked out. I have excellent taste and I like to drink Busch beer out of camouflage cans.
HOORAY for generalizations! Rash judgments about things make the world go round. If you are so inclined to order fancy checks you can find all the above pictured designs at http://www.checksunlimited.com. SLAAAAM DUNK!