For unknown reasons, last month or so I decided that I would take a spin through the terrible terrible world of Top 40 Radio. I am notoriously grumpy and judgmental when it comes to music, so I thought perhaps this would broaden my musical horizons and make me less curmudgeonly. It did not, but I learned a few things. For instance, I learned that most of the songs that are played on Top 40 radio are incredibly similar. Whoever is producing these songs must have a Lay-Z Boy recliner made out of solid gold and ladies out the wazoo, because they are raking in the ~*krunk financialz*~. I also learned that they play the same 10 songs OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER. If I hear “We Are Young” by Fun. one more time (screw you guys for having a period at the end of your band name) I will punch a hole in the wall. Some of my opinions were reinforced. Say, I’d rather shove bits of broken glass in my ear canal than hear a Katy Perry or Rihanna song.
As I trudged through this mire of mediocre music, there were a few gems that I not only enjoyed, but looked forward to hearing again. Luckily as I stated before, they play the same songs repeatedly, so I have ample opportunities to hear them. I have listed the few songs I can tolerate below for your listening pleasure. Some of these songs may be NSFW or NSFL. Judge me as you see fit.
YES this is a Justin Beiber song, I can hardly believe (belieb?) that I like it myself. But it is Justin doing his best Justin! I can’t help but like this JT lite. Mostly this song makes me wistful for what I call the Timberlake Heydays, but you take what you can get, right?
This song must be special, because I hear it about 78 times a day, and have still not gotten sick of it. Good work Flo Rida and other guy. Also, I just now realized that Flo Rida spells Florida because I am incredibly slow. Way to represent your state, bro.
I appreciate a good sample. That’s all.
Straight up confession time, I did not like this song until I found out it was by a boy band. Somehow the fact that this song is sung by a group of perfectly coiffed young men, makes it a gajillion times better for me. REAL TALK.
I have woken up with this song in my head three days in a row. Usually that would make me incredibly angry, but somehow this song avoids my derision. I can’t tell you why.
WE DID IT! I won’t leave you with the taste of Top 40 in your mouth. Here is a palate cleanser.
and just for good measure, the most whip ass song ever recorded.