One of my greatest parenting fears is that my son will grow up to be an annoying little creep, and I won’t know it because I will be BLINDED BY LOVE. Yeah, I said it. I feel like it is a legit concern. Having worked with kids for over ten years, I have met more than my fair share of irritating children. I have also met some awesome kids, but because I am a grouch, the former outweigh latter.
I want Tru’s company to be enjoyed by both children AND adults. That means the words, “I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you.” shall never pass his lips. :: mimes shooting self in the head::. He is also not allowed to do that thing, that little boys particularly enjoy doing, where they mimic every thing you say. I swear to god if he ever does that to me I will just push him over.
Those are only two examples of behavior I find annoying. See also, being loud for no apparent reason and being disrespectful to adults. He is allowed to say, “I know you are, but what I am?”, and “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” ; or any variety of catch phrases from the 80’s and 90’s. All in moderation of course.
I do not mind if Tru grows up to be the weird kid in class. Just as long as no one gets hurt. There was a weird girl in my elementary school named Tabitha (not her real name, I don’t know if her weirdness has amped up to point of stalking people from elementary school) that really liked kicking her legs, and one time she kicked so hard her shoe flew onto the roof of the school and the janitor had to climb up and retrieve it. Another time she kicked her shoe off and it traveled the entire span of the cafeteria and hit Randall Peters in the face. I am not even going to go into the kid in the third grade who accidentally wore his dad’s pants to school. I have to get off this tangent train.
Now, being the weird kid is class is tricky. The weird kid and the annoying kid are not always mutually exclusive. It is a very fine line between weird and annoying. Trust me, it is a line that I, myself, have walked many a time. But, if Truman wants to burst out in a Tears for Fears songs in the middle of a geography lesson or try to single handedly bring back wearing backwards clothing, go for it kid. If he’s the nerdy kid, the kid who only brings a pen to class, or even the smelly kid (Chad went through a spell as the smelly kid in class because he didn’t like to wear socks, it’s a quick fix really.), that’s TOTALLY fine. He just can’t be the annoying kid in class.
That is reasonable, right? Am I being irrational? Truman is already the most chillaxed baby ever, so I am not terribly concerned, but you never know. Around the age of two he could pass over to the dark side and we may never get him back. He might become the Jar Jar Binks of Austin. To prevent this, he will just have to keep hanging out with awesome people who can guide him in the right direction. People who can be honest with him and tell him how many fart sounds is one too many. Only then, will the universe be at peace.