Leticia, the Life Story in 250 Words.

And so we we begin.

Leticia emerged from her vestigial cocoon as any normal girl would, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready fuck shit up.  She had a lovely childhood, filled with love and MTV, and enjoyed her family– mother, father, and  two sisters, very much. Her first crush was on Disney’s animated Robin Hood.  Yes, the fox. She also fancied Alex P. Keaton.  Years passed and Leticia blossomed into a beautiful young woman.  She had no issues with confidence and also suffered from delusions of grandeur.  In general, she was well regarded by the public.  On a day appointed by the gods, Leticia met a mate worthy of her attention.  Chad was blond, handsome, and widely considered to be funny.  After a traditional marriage ceremony, the couple moved to Los Angeles.  Here Leticia was mistaken for a prostitute twice, and once sold a copy of  Starsky & Hutch: Season One to a musical artist named Morrissey. After moving to Austin, they produced one child, a boy they dubbed Truman.  The boy was a perfect conglomeration of Chad and Leticia.  He went on to do many good things, many good things indeed.  Leticia was a talented singer and well versed in the cinematic feast, Rocky IV.   Alas, she met her demise after being trampled to death recording a bootleg at a Tommy Tutone reunion concert.  In honor of her death, Tommy Tutone temporarily changed the song to “867-5309/Letty” and said, “Fuck Jenny, she never returned my call.” Leticia will always be remembered for ‘dat ass.


When they study me in Android School that is what they are going to have to memorize for the test.  When?  IN THE YEAR 2525 BITCHES!

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10 thoughts on “Leticia, the Life Story in 250 Words.

  1. kolleenbee says:

    My favorite song!

  2. Jenni says:

    This was hilarious. You win.

  3. This is totally awesome and kinda morbid … This should totally be your obit in 60 years

  4. startraci says:

    Letty, I love that you have delusions of grandeur — I could use a little more. And I especially love that you and I share so many cultural touchstones. Alex P. Keeton was the bomb and 867-5309 Letty would rock!

  5. Shay says:

    I’ll make sure my lineage studies you. It’ll be in my will.

    also, I’m done being creepy, but thanks for making me laugh.. for a solid amount of time.

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