It is day 3 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge, and today we are supposed to talk about something that makes you uncomfortable. Now, this post could go on FOR-EV-ER ::Squints Palledorous voice:: because I am a weirdo and all sorts of things make me feel uncomfortable. Even writing this post makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t want to reveal all of my neuroses. You all are going to think that I am the Mexican Woody Allen or something. In order save time and space, and to maintain some semblance of sanity, I will only list three things that make me squirm.
- Being Sincere: I rarely want people know what I am really feeling, unless I am irritated, then everyone has to know. I have pretty much dug a hole for myself, that anything I say sounds like, and probably is a joke. To me, sincere equals corny. For example, I have been honing my stand up lately and have been keeping a notebook by the side of my bed because sometimes when I’m lying in bed at night, I think of really stupid/funny things. The other day I wanted to post on Facebook, “I’ve feeling so inspired lately!”, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, because that it is way too sincere, and is the exact type of thing I make fun of other people for. Yes, I know it’s a problem.
- Direct Eye Contact- Color me shifty, because I hate making direct eye contact with people. As a performer, this can be a problem. When I sing I usually stare over people’s heads until I really start going ape shit, then all bets are off. God, the other day I was at the gym and people kept making direct eye contact with me when I was exercising. It was THE WORST. I haven’t been to the gym in over a week because it scarred me so badly. I also hate dancing with a partner because I just don’t know where to look. Slow dancing is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world for me, especially with a stranger. That is why I am such a terrible two-stepper. Really, one of the only times it is acceptable to look me in the eye is if you are flirting with me.
- Don’t Touch Me- I am not a hugger, and I just don’t like to be touched much (when sober). I have never had a massage because I don’t like the idea of a stranger rubbing all over my back. My worst nightmare is when someone comes up behind me and just starts rubbing my shoulders. I am cringing right now just thinking about it. It is always some creeper dude who tries to pull that shit too. UGH.
It appears that I have some deep seated issues that I should probably work on, but honestly, IDGAF. Alls I can say is, “OH, WELL”. To end things with some levity, I’ll leave you with this clip that makes me feel uncomfortable and simultaneously die laughing: