Don’t You Dare Look Me In The Eye

It is day 3 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge, and today we are supposed to talk about something that makes you uncomfortable.  Now, this post could go on FOR-EV-ER ::Squints Palledorous voice:: because I am a weirdo and all sorts of things make me feel uncomfortable. Even writing this post makes me feel uncomfortable because I don’t want to reveal all of my neuroses.  You all are going to think that I am the Mexican Woody Allen or something.  In order save time and space, and to maintain some semblance of sanity, I will only list three things that make me squirm.

  • Being Sincere: I rarely want people know what I am really feeling, unless I am irritated, then everyone has to know.  I have pretty much dug a hole for myself, that anything I say sounds like, and probably is a joke.  To me,  sincere equals corny.  For example, I have been honing my stand up lately and have been keeping a notebook by the side of my bed because sometimes when I’m lying in bed at night, I think of really stupid/funny things.  The other day I wanted to post on Facebook, “I’ve  feeling so inspired lately!”, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, because that it is way too sincere, and is the exact type of thing I make fun of other people for.  Yes, I know it’s a problem.
  • Direct Eye Contact- Color me shifty,  because I hate making direct eye contact with people.  As a performer, this can be a problem.  When I sing I usually stare over people’s heads until I really start going ape shit, then all bets are off.  God, the other day I was at the gym and people kept making direct eye contact with me when I was exercising.  It was THE WORST.  I haven’t been to the gym in over a week because it scarred me so badly.  I also hate dancing with a partner because I just don’t know where to look.  Slow dancing is one of the most uncomfortable things in the world for me, especially with a stranger.  That is why I am such a terrible two-stepper. Really, one of the only times it is acceptable to look me in the eye is if you are flirting with me.  
  • Don’t Touch Me- I am not a hugger, and I just don’t like to be touched much (when sober).  I have never had a massage because I don’t like the idea of a stranger rubbing all over my back.  My worst nightmare is when someone comes up behind me and just starts rubbing my shoulders.  I am cringing right now just thinking about it.  It is always some creeper dude who tries to pull that shit too.  UGH. 

It appears that I have some deep seated issues that I should probably work on, but honestly, IDGAF.  Alls I can say is, “OH, WELL”.  To end things with some levity,  I’ll leave you with this clip that makes me feel uncomfortable and simultaneously die laughing:

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6 thoughts on “Don’t You Dare Look Me In The Eye

  1. I’m okay with eye contact but not EXTENDED eye contact. ugh.

  2. startraci says:

    Okay, I’ll try to remember not to hug — I’m a hugger! But I am with you on the slow dancing. I feel that way even with my hubby!

  3. I’m with you on the stranger touches. I am actually a very affectionate and intimate person but don’t dare touch me unless I invite you into my space, uncomfortable and irritating. Like you, when I’m irritated that person will know about it. Good luck with the rest of the May challenge.

  4. […] to silently hold me in her hands and in her heart. I’m sure if she’s reading this she’s very uncomfortable, but it’s important that she know how I grateful I am to have had her in my life as children and […]

  5. […] me that.  I am terrible at giving advice, I should have listed it on the things that make me feel uncomfortable.  Call me Dear Stabby instead.  So, today’s blogging challenge “a piece of advice you […]

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