Welp, today we are supposed to write about the thing we are most afraid of. My biggest fear used to be demonic possession. I had* to sleep with lights on for years. It all stems from a 20/20 episode that I saw in the 4th grade that featured a “real” exorcism, and an extremely ill timed viewing of the comedy Repossessed. Now I realize the only thing scary about that movie is the writing, HEYO! I’ve finally gotten over my fear of demonic possession, as not only have I made peace with Satan, but also realized that the thing that scared me the most about being possessed is the loss of control.
I hate not having not having control over situations. One time we went to a hypnotist show and they brought me on stage and it was impossible to hypnotize me. Hey, if I’m going to look like a fool on stage it’s going to be on my volition. Sorry Biggie, your words can’t hypnotize me, but I do love your flashy ways.
After becoming a mom I was immediately bombarded with a million new fears. It’s like when you have a kid you suddenly have the most morbid imagination possible. It’s so hard not losing your mind once you have a kid because anything could happen. SERIOUSLY, ANYTHING could happen. Disease, accidents, natural disasters, you never know. The idea of losing my son, or husband for that matter, makes me want to grab my cat and hide in the linen closet. (It smells great in there.)
Like any ~creative~ type, I have a fear of being unfulfilled. I want to continue to make (f)art, whether it be writing, or music, or comedy, and I want it to be satisfying. I don’t ever want there to be a time in my life when I am not doing something that makes me happy. It scares me to think that somewhere down the road, I may look back and think, “I wish I pursued this.” or “Remember when I used to sing.” and feel empty inside. You gotta keep on keepin’ on.
Of course, what kind of narcissist would I be if I wasn’t terrified of losing my looks. That’s why I bathe in the blood of virgins every night Elizabeth Báthory style. It does wonders for the skin.
*I still sleep with a nightlight because I am terribly afraid of shadow people. Seeing shadows in my peripheral vision always gives me the mad heebee jeebies. I can’t even handle it.