So today’s topic is “things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you”. FART. School didn’t teach me anything. The only thing I learned from school is that some Native Americans did something called “second harvest” where they dug through their poop to find undigested pieces of corn to eat. I learned that in 7th grade Texas History but my husband thinks I made it up. I mean duh, obviously I learned SOME things in school. Hello, I am writing/typing RIGHT THIS SECOND.
Clearly, I am not really feeling this prompt. So I will take the slacker way out and just make a list.
Letty’s School of Hard Knocks:
- Not all drugs are not bad. Some drugs are great, the key is MODERATION.
- It is okay to wear denim on denim, do not fear the Canadian Tuxedo.
- Moccasins are the shit.
- Dry humping is awesome.
- Don’t be afraid to say something stupid if you think it’s funny. The most important thing is to amuse yourself.
- Always carry lotion in your purse.
- A smile, especially if you have dimples, can get you a lot.
- Thrift stores are great.
- Always, ALWAYS groom your eyebrows. If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your eyebrows are the fucking curtains.
- Listening to glam rock gives you a lot of confidence.
- When in doubt, watch Rocky IV.
I could go on and on, because apparently, I am very sage. With that, I am out. Smell ya later.