I Ain’t Learned Nuffin’

So today’s topic is “things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you”.  FART.  School didn’t teach me anything.  The only thing I learned from school is that some Native Americans did something called “second harvest” where they dug through their poop to find undigested pieces of corn to eat.  I learned that in 7th grade Texas History but my husband thinks I made it up.  I mean duh, obviously I learned SOME things in school.  Hello, I am writing/typing RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Clearly, I am not really feeling this prompt.  So I will take the slacker way out and just make a list.

Letty’s School of Hard Knocks:

  • Not all drugs are not bad.  Some drugs are great, the key is MODERATION.
  • It is okay to wear denim on denim, do not fear the Canadian Tuxedo.
  • Moccasins are the shit.
  • Dry humping is awesome.
  • Don’t be afraid to say something stupid if you think it’s funny.  The most important thing is to amuse yourself.
  • Always carry lotion in your purse.
  • A smile, especially if you have dimples, can get you a lot.
  • Thrift stores are great.
  • Always, ALWAYS groom your eyebrows.  If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your eyebrows are the fucking curtains.
  • Listening to glam rock gives you a lot of confidence.
  • When in doubt, watch Rocky IV.

I could go on and on, because apparently, I am very sage.  With that, I am out.  Smell ya later.

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2 thoughts on “I Ain’t Learned Nuffin’

  1. Shelley Oz says:

    I do not think that making a list is a slacker way out… and not at ALL because I did the same… I think you are very wise and wonderful and especially like the advice you give to always carry lotion in your purse… and my soul’s curtains need some attention… 😉

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