Play in May! Day 1: Why I Write

All right, so I haven’t written anything here in a while.  They last thing I gave you were Willow themed valentines, which are amazing, and more than a worthy gift.  Apparently the only way I will write is when prompted, so I have joined up with Shelley at Slightly Off Kilter and Evin at Food Good Laundry Bad, to Play in May.  Just like last year, I will attempt to write every day.  You have all been truly blessed, yet again.

So today’s prompt is, Why I Write.  It’s just like these broads to kick it off with a hard one.  I am not entirely sure why I write.  Clearly, I don’t.  I think I write for the same reason everyone does, because I am a really interesting person and everyone should listen to what I have to say.  I am just a goddamn delight.  I am intelligent, funny, and can ramble on about a variety of topics.  I HAVE OPINIONS DAMMIT.  So, that is one reason I write, because I deserve to.

Another reason I write is to spite.  (I get bonus points for rhyming) There are so many fake, piece of crap, wannabe Gwyneth Paltrows out there, SOMEBODY has to battle them.  Bitch, you ain’t Elizabeth Gilbert, and this ain’t Eat, Pray, Love. You can eat, pray, SUCK MY BUTT, amirite? Sometimes, even I can’t believe how mature and thoughtful I can be.  This is why it is imperative that I write and share my magnificent insights with the ~world~.

I also write because I read.  Or rather, that’s my intention.  I am constantly reading things, then thinking, “Well, I could do that.” But, of course, I can’t and I don’t, because I lack initiative. On the flip side, I like when I read something and am blown away by it.  I’ve recently read several books by author, Rainbow Rowell, and she just knocks it out of the park every single time.  I don’t know how to do that.  I don’t even know how to start.  Maybe someday, if I make even the slightest effort, I could figure it out.  For now I will just eat Lean Pockets and watch tattoo reality competitions because that’s what makes me momentarily happy.

For the month of May, I will write everyday.  At the end of the month,  I will feel proud and inspired, and maybe (probably not) I will do something with that temporary motivation.  In any case let’s Play in May, bitches.   Here is a Police video your viewing pleasure!

Axis of Ineptitude
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10 thoughts on “Play in May! Day 1: Why I Write

  1. Opinions are good. Being able to admit you don’t have some clear-cut reason? F’in awesome. I’m glad I found your blog…LOVE the title.

  2. Hells yea for the Police. Also, I have heard good things about Rowell’s books but haven’t read any of them.

  3. Shelley Oz says:

    I’ll have you know that leaving comments from my phone is a PITA so the fact that I’m on the lappy should be HUGE. Ok not really.

    There’s so much here…

    (1) I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you are writing again.
    (2) Of course we came up with something hard… wouldn’t want it to be easy for all the fake paltrows out there…
    (3) I too love tattoo competition shows…
    (4) I’m scared by similarities between us…
    (5) I love your opinions
    (6) you are an absolute delight 🙂 Glad you are playing 🙂

  4. Kyra says:

    Oof. I totally forgot about the beauty that was The Police in the 80s. Mmm. Thank you for that, and thank you for not being a fake GOOP writer. 🙂

  5. So I read this and gigglesnorted the whole way through. You really are a goddamned delight, ma’am! Also, curse you for making me click play on that video while I try to pen out my thoughts and reactions to your blog, because it’s so damned catchy and i find myself stopping to sing along.

    I find it funny that so many of us basically listed the same reasons but having come to those reasons by different paths (eg: we all read and somehow think that’s a reason to write, as though all people who ever pick up books should also be struggling authors in their freetime? WTF?)

    Love your voice and can’t wait to read more from you!

  6. startraci says:

    Lean Pockets and The Police ain’t half bad. II am glad you are writing for May because I like your writing. I hope you keep going through the summer and beyond.

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