Tag Archives: music

I May Be Dumb, But I Have Excellent Taste in Music


All right suckers, three more posts!  Tomorrow is the very last one, so I will let it stand alone.  It is much more dramatic that way.

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

I can’t follow instructions, so here are some photos of me being dumb!

This was taken in July.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Slut Dress

YUS!

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post

I do this all the time anyway in lieu of writing an actual post.  Man, I looked at some of the other posts for this challenge, and some people have horrific taste in music.  I know it is all subjective, but I am right, and you are wrong.  I am just going to post some songs I’ve been digging lately.  THEY ~SPEAK~ TO ME.

Age of Consent-New Order.  Man, this song seems like it was created just for MLC to cover it.  It is so fucking good.  Damn.

Give Me Some Kind of Sign- Brenton Wood.  Everything about this so is great.  The lead vocals, the harmony, the organ solo.  All music should be this smooth.

Fist City- Loretta Lynn.  You better move your feet if you don’t want to eat a meal that’s called Fist City. I love her.

Tusk-Fleetwood Mac.  I’ve been listening to this song on repeat for the past few weeks now.  It is amazing and unique.  I am desperately in love with Lindsey Buckingham, so much so that Stevie will never be higher than my fourth favorite member of Fleetwood Mac because I am so jealous of her.  Never mind that he was a total dick, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke featuring T.I., Pharrell.  I included this just to prove that I actually listen to songs from this decade.  This song is hot shit.  It replaced “Get Lucky” as my new summer jam.  I don’t even care if it is incredibly sexist.  It is fun as hell. If you like boobies, I highly recommend you check out the unrated version of the video.

It is pretty impressive that I managed to post 5 songs without even one David Bowie video.  See, I am growing as a person.

BONUS:  This is my favorite song to clean the house to.  I guess don’t listen to it at work or in front of people who don’t like the word fuck. ASAP Rocky is so dapper!

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

I guess this prompt is supposed to serve as therapy or something.  I will resist the urge to make this about bowel movements and try to BE LEGIT.  Looking at all of those pictures I just posted makes me realize that I need to “let go” of my former life.  I am a mother now, and I guess it’s time to grow up.  I can’t go to ALL of the parties my friends have, I can’t have improptu dance parties after the bars close, and I can’t get AS drunk in the middle of the day as I used to.  It’s hard, because it seems like a lot of  my friends are stuck in this state of permanent adolescence, and I want to go to Never Never Land with them. BUT NOOOOOO,  I HAVE OBLIGATIONS NOW.  C’est La Vie!  Growing up isn’t so bad, I will just take it little by little. I’m still going to have fun, and now a whole different kind of fun with my son.  But I’m telling you now, if I ever get to urge to do whippits and listen to Steely Dan, goddamit  I’m going to do it, and no one can stop me.



P.S. Y’all don’t know how difficult it was to talk about growing up while wearing a little boy’s shirt that I purchased at the Dollar General.

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Fappiness is a Warm Glove


10 things, teeeen things, 10 things that make me happpppy!

  • The mother/son dance Truman and I shared last night in the kitchen to Stacey Q’s “Two of Hearts”
  • Playing music with my friends

Capture

  • The movie, Just One of the Guys. Specifically because of William Zabka and some of the best breasts in 80’s movie history. TOP CANZ!

censored for our sensitive readers

  • The fact that Doug Flutie did a drop kick in his last NFL game. That shit is historic.
  • Pizza, pizza always makes me happy.
  • These guys:

  • The song “Hey Sandy” by Polaris.  If you can listen to this song, and not smile once, you are a heartless bastard.
  • Jarvis Cocker

  • Naps.  Naps are just the most wonderful thing in the world. They are even better when you are joined by a cat or two.

Now you know 10 things that make me happy.  There are lots more, including eBay, and records, and DAVID BOWIE, and squirrels.  I mean, didn’t even go into the schadenfreude shit.  That would take all day, and I do not have all day.  I have naps to take.



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My Babies


Periodically, I go through my wardrobe (pile of clothes) and think to myself, “Letty, perchance it’s time to grow up.  You are 30 now, practically a woman, maybe it’s about time you stop dressing like a 13 year old boy from 1982. ( Or like the kid who wants Blue Oyster Cult tickets in Fast Times at Ridgemont High)”  But then I look at all the magnificence lying before me.  I have THE BEST T-SHIRTS in the ENTIRE WORLD.  The collection of shirts that I have amassed bring a smile to my face, and make me feel like a real cool dude.  My t-shirts are so great they own their  own 1977 Pontiac Trans-Am. T-Top of course, you know because T-SHIRTS. Get it?  OH SHIT.

Here is a list of my t-shirts from memory (and I know I totally forgot some): I have 4 Foreigner shirts, 2 Bryan Adams, 2 Ted Nugent, 1 Rod Stewart, 2 Quiet Riot, 1 Ozzy Osbourne, 1 Jerry Reed/Smokey & The Bandit shirt, 2 ZZ Top, 1 Bob Seger,1 Curtis Knight Band, 1 Van Halen, 2 Billy Squier, 1 Rolling Stones, 1 David Bowie, 1 Led Zeppelin, and 1 Who, and these are all vintage concert tees.  My Bowie one is for his 1978 World Tour.  I only have two reproductions, my Iggy Pop & The Stooges, and my T. Rex.  In general,  I am a snobby bitch that turns her nose up at repros (see how terrible I am?), but I can make an exception for excellence. May I suggest that if you want to DIY your shirt and cut it up so you can show off your clavicle, buy a reproduction or I will find you and claw out your eyes for ruining the sanctity of a shirt that has lived longer than you. I am considering buying a Jarvis Cocker shirt on eBay though, just so I can have him close to my breasts.

Guys, I have so many great shirts and some of them are pretty valuable.  I could really go on about it for days and days. I mean, I didn’t even GO INTO my shirts that aren’t concert tees, but let’s be honest, this is a pretty dull topic. So, let’s get to the good stuff–pictures of me in a few of my sweetass shirts.Pump up the “Stranglehold” and let’s begin.

About to get eliminated in my ZZ Top Eliminator shirt

There is a better picture of me somewhere wearing this shirt in the Paris airport, but I can’t find it.

Harley Davidson, that turn you on? ::Kelly Leak voice::

I had enough Foreigner shirts (plus one Van Halen) to cloth my entire karaoke team for my powerhouse performance of “Jukebox Hero”

I thought this was the most appropriate shirt to wear to the gun range.

This is one of my favorites, my Boris Vallejo shirt. I wear it for good luck and for family gatherings.

Now, I have to give a shout out to a fallen soldier.  One of my greatest shirts, a Molly Hatchet shirt featuring  Frank Frazetta artwork, was stolen away from me and I still haven’t gotten over it.  I let a friend borrow it, which is rare because I am weirdly protective of my shirts, and some bitch stole it out of his bag when he was sleeping.  So sad.  My friend still feels very guilty about it, but I have since (almost) forgiven him <3.  The worst part of it all is I actually saw the evil thieving wench out at a bar WEARING MY SHIRT.  I just couldn’t find a way to prove it was mine (IT WAS DEFINITELY MINE) and get it back without ripping it off her body.  When I saw her wearing it I screeched like a banshee,  after explaining my scream, the door guy at the bar still calls me Molly Hatchet.  I tried guys, I really did.  I approached her, and asked where she got the shirt, and she just said, “Oh it’s a vintage shirt from the 80’s.”  LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW THAT.    There was just no way :(.  I just hope that dumb bitch loves that shirt even a tenth of the amount that I did and I also hope that she gets her nose broken by a goose while riding a roller coaster, just like fucking Fabio.  ~Le sigh~

RIP MOLLY HATCHET SHIRT. YOU ARE GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.

Do you guys have any great shirt you want to talk about, or do you want to compliment me on my awesome shirts?  Did I leave any out? Leave me a comment!

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Are You Trying to Seduce Me?


It is Friday, and I am feeling pretty, pretty, pretty good.  After weeks of looking like a Mexican Andy Rooney, I am getting my eyebrows waxed by a ~~eyebrow specialist~~, so I am feeling sassy AND saucy ::shoulder shimmy::.  I will expound on that in another post with BEFORE AND AFTER pictures, HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS.  After my fancy face waxing, I will so unbearably beautiful that you won’t be able to resist me.  I will be batting away suitors like horny flies.  As I am attached, you will have to work extra hard to make me succumb to your charms.  Here are a few songs that are guaranteed Letty pantymelters.

Teenage Lust- The Jesus and Mary Chain

Beetlebum- Blur

You Showed Me- The Turtles

BTW, this video is amazing.  Kudos to Mark Volman for being awesome.

Time of the Season- The Zombies

Little Dreamer- Van Halen

This is the song I would strip to if I were a stripper.  My stripper name is Tawny Backside.

BONUS SONG:  I used to have a massive crush on this DJ (what a terribly hipster thing to admit) and I would ask him to play me special songs.  One night he played me You Make Loving Fun and I thought I was going to die of happiness.

So, if you want to woo me, just play any of the above songs.  I am easily swayed by song.

 

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Ah yes, I made it. I am 30.


So this half assed retrospective was a success!  I looked back fondly on my twenties.  They were pretty chill!  Of course there were low points, but no one has a perfect ten years. This brings me to my late twenties. I feel like I really came into my own in this time. I blossomed into the ~beautiful flower~ that I am now.  I certainly stopped giving a shit about what people thought about me and basically said/did whatever I wanted.  I am truly a NO LIMIT SOLDIER. ::rolls eyes::

I had the opportunity to travel.  I went to Spain with my family which apparently there is no photographic proof of,  and also went  on a ladies’ road trip to Taos with my befri Keri, and my good friend Erin.  We dubbed ourselves the Ladies of the White Sands and almost got our car stuck in a mud puddle in the middle of nowhere.  We also went hiking up a mountain and I complained the entire time because, “I didn’t know it was going to be uphill.” I am a sharp one.

Around this time I also started playing with Music Learning Club.  I love singing, and I love these fools.  I consider them to be my second family.

Lavender finery

Here we are playing “You Can’t Hurry Love”.  My parents watched this video and made fun of how dramatic I was.  Little did they know that this was only our first song and I got a whole lot more unhinged.  I am the David Lee Roth of MLC, y’all.

Now in my late twenties not only was I overflowing with obvious musical talent, but I possessed extraordinary athletic ability as well.  Every Sunday I started playing kickball.  I met a lot of wonderful people and drank a lot of beer.  The following photo exemplifies my kickball talents:

There are things happening, and I am just standing there.

Kickball Fambly

Of course, of course we cannot discuss my late twenties without talking about the most important thing that happened–I started coloring my hair red. SIKE! Chad put a beautiful baby in my belly!  I had a really smooth pregnancy and was, by my own admission, THE MOST ADORABLE PREGNANT WOMAN IN THE WORLD. I love my little family so much and at the risk of sounding mega cheesy, I feel incredibly lucky and count my blessings every single day.

HE HATES THESE GOURDS

Awwww.  Anyway, today I am thirty.  My ass instantly feels bigger and my boobs saggier.  I jest, I jest.  I feel fine. Due to melanin and great genes, I AM NEVER GOING TO AGE.  The women in my family are blessed.   The only thing I am concerned about  is  I have a deep wrinkle between my eyebrows because I am constantly cringing in disgust at everything.  Maybe one of my goals for my third decade of life to become less JJJJ-ADED.  Nah.  I’ll just continue to judge the world as I see fit and get botox. It is also my dad’s birthday today.  It has always made me feel special to share a birthday with my father.  Happy Birthday Dad!

Buh, since this post is long enough, I will post jokes and pictures from my roast tomorrow. Hooray me! Hooray 30!  Oh, also I am starting a new blog with my friend Kolleen, called Thirtysometeen, in which we watch teen melodramas and discuss them at length.  It will be chock  full of pithy commentary!  I can’t wait.

Here are some bonus pictures!

Disney Princesses

I always have the best Halloween costumes, a tradition I am going to force upon Truman.

JUKEBOX HERO.

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A Quick One


Even when I’m not on mushrooms, I like to imagine that my life is a movie.  We all do, right?  That isn’t out of the ordinary.  The most important part of my life movie, which I hope is entitled, “Yeah, Well.  The Life and Times of Letty’s Buttcrack”, is the soundtrack.  I’ve always wanted to enter a room and have the perfect song play.  It varies for different situations, of course.

This is the song that would play when I walked into a room and everyone would stare at me and cream their jeans:

I would want “Rebel, Rebel” to play in most situations:

and I would want this song to play when I walked into a super cool party:

All done!  I will think of more songs from my life soundtrack to share later. What are you choices?

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Procrastination Station


Procrastination–My best friend, my lover, my ENEMY. I am the most powerful procrastinator that has ever lived. I have truly truly mastered the art of procrastination.   If there ever was some sort of award handed out to the  The Grand Procrastinators of America, I would definitely be a recipient. Sadly, that award could never exist since no one would ever get around to actually making it and everyone would probably be late to the awards ceremony anyways.  Sigh, I am a trifling bitch.  Just now I got distracted for about two hours just trying to write this stupid post.  I fell into a Youtube hole and went on a Midnight Special/glam rock binge.  I started with this:

and ended with this:

To be fair, it was a worthy distraction.

But back to procrastinating. Months ago my friend Evin over at Food Good, Laundry Bad wrote this post about a robot her son made for a school project.  If you scroll down and look at the comments, I commented and said I was inspired to write a post about procrastination and my own adventures with school projects. This was over two months ago.  Now  ::pats self on back::  I have finally started on  it!

UGH, I pray that Truman doesn’t put me through the hell I put my parents through.  I would always ALWAYS put off school projects until the very last minute. Never in my life have I completed a project in a timely manner.  It started in the first grade and lasted until I got my associates degree from community college (I am a high achiever).  One of my worst school years was the 3rd grade (did anyone enjoy the third grade?) I feel like that entire miserable year was just project after project.  The only highlight of the 3rd grade was when this kid in my class accidentally wore his dad’s pants to school instead of his own.  He cried, I laughed (quietly, to myself).  That is, sadly, one of my favorite memories from elementary school, and I think that speaks volumes about me.

BUT AGAIN, I DIGRESS.  3rd grade was project after goddamned project.   For our unit on Texas Indians, we each had to pick a tribe, write a report, and build a habitat that showed their dwellings, farming system, and native dress.  I picked the Karankawa, and I am afraid that I did them a great disservice with the shitty, thrown together habitat I made them.  It featured globs of sand from my backyard glued on a piece of cardboard, and hastily drawn pictures of Indians fishing.  Cabeza de Vaca did them more justice than I did.  Some projects, I didn’t even do.  My sister’s good natured, manchild boyfriend did them for me.  His work for me included a diorama of Kareem Abdul Jabbar shooting a basket, and a rather impressive marionette of an otter.

Perhaps my greatest school project failure came in the 7th grade.  This project was doomed from the start.  We were studying Texas culture, and had to do a project on our ancestors, their immigration to Texas, and the impact our culture had on Texas.  Being that I am clearly of Mexican descent, it would have made perfect sense to do my project on Mexican-Texan culture. But because I had a huge crush on a boy named Carlo, I decided to do my project on Italian-Texans so I could be in his work group.  The project culminated in a big Texas Cultures Fair that was for all the 7th grade parents to attend and was held in the evening. You were supposed to dress in traditional cultural garb, have a huge display, and a dish to share with the parents.  I, of course waited until the night before, and my cobbled together display consisted of a three-fold board with the Italian and  Texas flags on it. I think I also taped a rosary on there.  As for my traditional costume and dish, I threw a scarf on my head and opened up a can of black olives.  Needless to say, Carlo was not impressed.

I have countless other stories I could share, but I will spare you.  Truman will not be so lucky.  I will harangue him with  tales of my procrastination and failures so he doesn’t make the same mistakes I did.   We are going to be SO on top of things. Luckily, he already has a pretty good track record as he arrived in this world two weeks early.  That’s my boy, I guess.

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That’s Inappropriate!


My disdain for Katy Perry is well documented.  Save for a couple of songs, I’d rather listen to someone chew with their mouth open all day than listen to her crappy music.  Perhaps my least favorite Katy Perry song, other than the insufferable Firework, is  Last Friday Night (TGIF).  What disconcerts me most about this song is that it is about getting black out drunk, maybe date raped, and LITTLE GIRLS ARE CONSTANTLY SINGING IT.  Call me crotchety, but I prefer not to have my kiddos singing about ménage à trois, at least not until they’re 13. God, don’t even mention that she has a movie coming out targeted towards kids.  It will make steam pour out my ears like a cartoon character.  But, I started thinking about it , and I remembered some of the terribly inappropriate songs that I would sing when I was a little girl. I lost some resolve and slowly started to remove the stick out of my ass (isn’t that a great mental image?), but I still hate Katy Perry.  Here are a few of my favorite naughty songs from my youth:

Sweat- Inner Circle

I used to ride around my neighborhood on my bike singing this song at the top of my lungs.  “AND IF YOU CRYYYY OUT, I’M GONNA PUSH IT, PUSH IT, PUSH IT, PUSH IT SOME MORRRRRRE.”  Looking back, it explains why I wasn’t invited to any family barbecues.

She-Bop- Cyndi Lauper

My sisters bought the 45 of this song when I was really little and I used to play it constantly.  Lauper, you dirty little minx!  On the wiki for this song, it says that she wanted little kids to think this song was about dancing, and not know the real meaning until they got older.  Her nefarious plan worked, because I didn’t know it was about masturbation until I was in my twenties.  There is a ten year difference between my middle sister and I, so they probably snickered every time they heard me play it.

I Want to Sex You Up- Color Me Badd

NO COMMENT.

~~MEMORIES (mammaries)~~  There are so many other inappropriate songs, including the necessary “Me So Horny”,  that I can’t possibly name them all.  What are you favorites?

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Create


I like making music with my friends.  It is my favorite way to create!  I am going to go eat some pasta now.

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Rufus, Rufus, Rufus


Oh, I love Rufus Wainwright so much. His new album Out of the Game is phenomenal, it is my favorite album of his since Poses. I liked Want One & Want Two, but they were a little too theatrical for my tastes.  Out of the Game sounds like it was created~just for me~.  It is full of carefully produced homages to the 70’s.  Kudos to Mark Ronson, who I may or may not have a huge crush on, for doing an excellent job as producer. My favorite track, Bitter Tears, is downright ABBAesque.  Another one of my favorites,  Montauk, is a sweet song for Wainwright’s daughter Viva, who’s birth mother is Lorca Cohen, Leonard Cohen’s daughter.  That child was probably blessed by Apollo himself to be born into such a talented family.

I have liked Rufus Wainwright for a long time now. Poses was the soundtrack to the early days of mine and Chad’s relationship.  Chad and I were in a long distance relationship when the album was released (over ten years ago, EEP!).  He was living in Los Angeles and I was still living with parents.  You can probably imagine how difficult that was for me.  He was out there living it up, going to parties, doing the whole Hollywood thing, while I had to sit forlornly by the phone waiting for his call.  Then, miracle upon miracles, my parents allowed me to go visit Chad in LA.  I got to spend a whole week with my love, hung out with C-list celebrities in the Hollywood Hills, and had the added bonus of getting to see Rufus at an  in-store at Virgin Megastore (RIP).  I had no idea at the time that I would go on to work at Virgin a few years later, but that is a different story.  After a wonderful and hazy trip I had to return back to Corpus with a heavy heart and Poses in tow. I would listen to it constantly and day dream of a time when I would get to be with Chad permanently.  I can just hear the opening strains of Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk and am reminded of the halcyon days of our budding romance.  ::SIGH::

Here is a picture from that in-store that is awesome for several reasons.  First of all, look at how young and skinny we are!  Chad looks like a different man, still handsome, but different.  NO BEARD!  Secondly, Rufus could not look any more displeased in this photo.  If I recall correctly my camera was acting up so this was the second attempt to capture this magical moment.  The third thing I love about this picture is the loss prevention guy trying to sneak out of the frame.  Unintentional Photo bomb! Good times had by all. Now, I am going to go listen to Greek Song and reminisce.  You go buy Wainwright’s new album.

Rufus is having the best time of his life, obviously.

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