Tag Archives: style

Just a Perfect Day.


It’s day 15 of Blog Every Day in May.  We’re half way done!  I honestly can’t believe I’ve stuck it out this long, because I LOOOVE quitting.  Today’s prompt is “A Day in the Life”.  I read the news today oh, boy.  I think I lead a pretty normal life.  Let me give you a rundown of how my days go.

I usually wake up around 8:30, looking lovely and ready to start the day.

I make sure to brush my teeth very thoroughly, nobody likes a dirty mouth!

Then I carefully apply an appropriate amount of makeup and admire my handwork in the mirror.

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After that, it’s time for a healthy breakfast!

Then it’s off to work!  I am an excellent employee and I always get a lot of work done, and never slack off EVER.

After some hard labor, I enjoy lunch with a friend.

I usually only work until 3, after that I wander around HEB, Walgreens, or Target because I looooove to spend money I don’t have.

After I finish shopping, I pick up Truman and we go home and play in the backyard.

Then it is time for dinner.

After dinner, sometimes I will go out and have a drink or two with friends.

Then after a long day, I am ready to hit the sack and go to sleep.

It is exhausting being me sometimes.



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GET YO FACE ON.


Now, I am not the girliest of girls, but I strongly believe that a ~lady~ should put forth even the tiniest bit of effort when they leave the house.  For me, that entails not wearing athletic/yoga  pants unless I am going to exercise, or have just finished exercising, (seriously people, how hard is it to throw on a pair of jeans?) and applying a minimal, but flattering amount of makeup.  I can get mah face all done up in a little over five minutes, and that’s with Truman hanging off of me like his life depends on it or with a stupid cat in the way.  Here is my easy peasy makeup routine. I apologize for the quality of the pictures.  They are all selfies. :/

Step 1: Beauty Balm

I want to give a shout out to my girl BB.  She is the shit.  Man, I really like beauty balm creams, they provide a light, but extremely adequate, coverage. The one I use is Garnier BB Cream. I like it well enough, I mean I bet there are better ones out there, but this one does its job. I think it is best applied with a foundation brush.  If I am going somewhere where I feel like I must look extra fancy or matte, then I use Covergirl 3 in 1 Outlast foundation.   It’s a primer, concealer, and foundation in one. That shit is heavy duty and  I mostly use that when I go out at night. I like that it has a concealer in it, because I have under eye circles like a mofo.  Now on to my favorite step! ~*DA EYEZ*~

eye makeup

My eyes are my favorite feature, so I enjoy making them look extra purty.  Everyday I bless the gods that I was blessed with lusciously long eyelashes, and I will be happy to flutter them in your general direction for just a nominal fee.  I start with applying black liner on my top lids only.  It makes it slightly easier to pull your lid taut, but sometimes that can backfire and your line will be too thick.  If I am feeling fun and flirty I will use liquid eyeliner and do a jaunty little cat eye. (That’s for a different post)  For liquid eyeliner,  Mally Ultimate Performance Ink Liner  is really the best.  It is super versatile, and is fucking awesome for beginners.  Apparently, the pencil liner that I prefer, Revlon Grow Luscious Lash Liner, is now discontinued.  HOW CAN I GO ON LIVING?

After liner, comes the best part-MASSSSCAAAARRRRA!  This girl, this girl right here, LOVES mascara.  I use two different mascaras, a volumizing and a lengthening.  I cannot tell you which mascaras I use because I have so many, I just alternate them all the time.  I am always buying new mascaras.  Seriously, I love them.  Take a look at the contents of my purse.

I think I have a problem.

I think I have a problem.

One  handy tricks when applying mascara is to wiggle the brush of the volumizing mascara at the base of your lashes to build thickness, then apply the lengthening mascara to the tips. Follow that up with one more full coat, then you can flutter your lashes to your heart’s content. A taupe eye shadow with a light shimmer is flattering for everyone, but is a luxury.

blush

Blush is very important, and unless you have a naturally rosy complexion, I think all women should wear it.  It really brightens up the face and makes you look awake.  Like mascaras, I have several different blushes.  I have peachy ones, pink ones, berry ones, you name it.  If time permits, I like to pick a blush that is complementary to what I am wearing.   If not, Loreal True Match Naturale  is my go to, everyday blush.  It gives me a nice natural glow, and more importantly, was in the clearance section at the Walgreens.  Benefit also makes fantastically wonderful powders.  I have almost all of them! Smile and get the apples of your cheeks, then do a soft swoop along your entire cheek.  Again, if I am getting all jazzed up, I will apply a highlighting powder on my cheekbones to make them really pop.

After that, I am about done!  I just smear some Korres Lip Butter on my maw, and I am out the door!  See, that wasn’t so hard.  Beauty balm, eyeliner, mascara, and blush. It makes a subtle, but noticeable difference.

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Really, this all it takes is 5-10 minutes at the most.  I will make a video soon and prove it.  I know I didn’t mention lipsticks here, but that is a different beast, COMPLETELY.  Anyway, do your makeup and wear real pants.  It does wonders for your self-esteem. If I can do it, lord knows you can.



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Glamour, Dahlink


Last night while I was eating Mini Chewy Sweettarts and dicking around on Facebook instead of getting my 8 hours in (sleep is essential to having nice skin y’all!) my friend Megan over at Mean Baby asked in a group, “WHAT DO I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP?”.  That is a super valid question! I answered, “When you find out, let me know, because I sure as hell don’t know.”, copious commas and all .  But then I thought about it for like thirty seconds and it struck me like a beautiful bolt of lightning, when I grow up, I WANT TO BE EVA GABOR.

Eva Gabor is all that is elegance, charm, and pizzazz.  She was gorgeous, clever and got to wear things like this EVERYDAY:

gowns

GLAMOUR EPITOMIZED

Let’s take a quick peek at Eva at her best:

Eva was so lovely and charismatic as Lisa on Green Acres, I remembered being enthralled with her whenever I caught reruns of it on Nick at Nite.

HELLO, SHE IS WRASSLIN’ WITH CHUCK NORRIS WHILE WEARING AN EVENING GOWN.  Who doesn’t want to be her?!

But let’s us not forget, Zsa Zsa was no slouch either.

My heart  will always belong to the ~bewitching~ Eva, if only for her voice work on the Aristocats and Rescuers alone.  Man, the Gabor sisters were really something.  Between the three of them, (I didn’t forget you Magda!) they had 20 husbands.  20 HUSBANDS.  The Gabor sisters had just that much love to give.

In closing, as I mature, my goal is to be more like Eva Gabor, so don’t be surprised if I start calling everyone darling and wearing floor length evening gowns everywhere I go.  I am already well on my way, last Sunday while I was at brunch with my Beautiful and Interesting Lady Friends, I plopped a couple of Starbursts into my mimosa. IT’S GLAMOUR, DAHLINK!

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My Babies


Periodically, I go through my wardrobe (pile of clothes) and think to myself, “Letty, perchance it’s time to grow up.  You are 30 now, practically a woman, maybe it’s about time you stop dressing like a 13 year old boy from 1982. ( Or like the kid who wants Blue Oyster Cult tickets in Fast Times at Ridgemont High)”  But then I look at all the magnificence lying before me.  I have THE BEST T-SHIRTS in the ENTIRE WORLD.  The collection of shirts that I have amassed bring a smile to my face, and make me feel like a real cool dude.  My t-shirts are so great they own their  own 1977 Pontiac Trans-Am. T-Top of course, you know because T-SHIRTS. Get it?  OH SHIT.

Here is a list of my t-shirts from memory (and I know I totally forgot some): I have 4 Foreigner shirts, 2 Bryan Adams, 2 Ted Nugent, 1 Rod Stewart, 2 Quiet Riot, 1 Ozzy Osbourne, 1 Jerry Reed/Smokey & The Bandit shirt, 2 ZZ Top, 1 Bob Seger,1 Curtis Knight Band, 1 Van Halen, 2 Billy Squier, 1 Rolling Stones, 1 David Bowie, 1 Led Zeppelin, and 1 Who, and these are all vintage concert tees.  My Bowie one is for his 1978 World Tour.  I only have two reproductions, my Iggy Pop & The Stooges, and my T. Rex.  In general,  I am a snobby bitch that turns her nose up at repros (see how terrible I am?), but I can make an exception for excellence. May I suggest that if you want to DIY your shirt and cut it up so you can show off your clavicle, buy a reproduction or I will find you and claw out your eyes for ruining the sanctity of a shirt that has lived longer than you. I am considering buying a Jarvis Cocker shirt on eBay though, just so I can have him close to my breasts.

Guys, I have so many great shirts and some of them are pretty valuable.  I could really go on about it for days and days. I mean, I didn’t even GO INTO my shirts that aren’t concert tees, but let’s be honest, this is a pretty dull topic. So, let’s get to the good stuff–pictures of me in a few of my sweetass shirts.Pump up the “Stranglehold” and let’s begin.

About to get eliminated in my ZZ Top Eliminator shirt

There is a better picture of me somewhere wearing this shirt in the Paris airport, but I can’t find it.

Harley Davidson, that turn you on? ::Kelly Leak voice::

I had enough Foreigner shirts (plus one Van Halen) to cloth my entire karaoke team for my powerhouse performance of “Jukebox Hero”

I thought this was the most appropriate shirt to wear to the gun range.

This is one of my favorites, my Boris Vallejo shirt. I wear it for good luck and for family gatherings.

Now, I have to give a shout out to a fallen soldier.  One of my greatest shirts, a Molly Hatchet shirt featuring  Frank Frazetta artwork, was stolen away from me and I still haven’t gotten over it.  I let a friend borrow it, which is rare because I am weirdly protective of my shirts, and some bitch stole it out of his bag when he was sleeping.  So sad.  My friend still feels very guilty about it, but I have since (almost) forgiven him <3.  The worst part of it all is I actually saw the evil thieving wench out at a bar WEARING MY SHIRT.  I just couldn’t find a way to prove it was mine (IT WAS DEFINITELY MINE) and get it back without ripping it off her body.  When I saw her wearing it I screeched like a banshee,  after explaining my scream, the door guy at the bar still calls me Molly Hatchet.  I tried guys, I really did.  I approached her, and asked where she got the shirt, and she just said, “Oh it’s a vintage shirt from the 80’s.”  LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW THAT.    There was just no way :(.  I just hope that dumb bitch loves that shirt even a tenth of the amount that I did and I also hope that she gets her nose broken by a goose while riding a roller coaster, just like fucking Fabio.  ~Le sigh~

RIP MOLLY HATCHET SHIRT. YOU ARE GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.

Do you guys have any great shirt you want to talk about, or do you want to compliment me on my awesome shirts?  Did I leave any out? Leave me a comment!

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JANUARY IS DEAD.


It is fucking February already, one month of 2013 has already come and gone.  January was an uneventful month, really.  I tried to be proactive as it is a new year, and you’re supposed to set goals, and blah de blah de blah, and pttttttth, etc, but I didn’t TRY try.  I can’t even commit to growing my hair out, what makes you think I can commit to anything productive and useful?

I did make a little bit of headway on Thirtysometeen. I bought the domain y’all! Plus I set up a facebook page, which you can go like here, if you are so inclined.  Now all I have to do is write!  That’s easy, right?  RIGHT, WRITE, RIGHT?!?!  RIIIIIIGHT. ::eyes roll into back of head::

I guess I have set some very loose goals.  One of them was to finally get my fuckfest of a closet together.  If you are not familiar with the horror that is my closet, allow me to remind you and have you dip a  toe into my self made hell.  I am going for it! I am cleaning out my closet, getting rid of anything I haven’t worn in the past two years, vintage or not, and hosting a clothing swap with some of  my ~lady friends~.  Get rid of clothes, get drunk, gain your friend’s castoffs, it’s a solid plan.  We’re donating all leftover clothing to SafePlace, YEAH!

January wasn’t a complete bust though.  Music Learning Club started up again, and we have been playing the smoothest of smooth rock.  We’ve combed through the Dad Rock catalog and we are mastering all of the hits.  Last night alone we played some Badfinger, “Eye in the Sky” by The Alan Parsons Project, “You Got Lucky” by Tom Petty, and we even popped our Three Dog Night cherry.  Speaking of Three Dog Night, did you know that lead singer Chuck  Negron had so much sex that his penis exploded?  This is not one of my many lies, it’s a true story.  Tell your friends.

Last weekend was the annual Beard Prom for Austin Facial Hair Club.  MLC played it last year and it was a goddamned blast and a half.  This year it was metal themed, which gave me an excuse to buy metal studded pleather shorts (photo proof below).  We were asked to play the prom and I really wished that MLC could have played, but metal is a little bit out of our wheelhouse, and we didn’t have enough time to prepare.  I made an EXCELLENT potential set list that included everything from Rainbow to Lita Ford and I issued a Music Learning Challenge to my band to learn at least two songs from the list I made this year.  It’s important to venture out your comfort zone, especially when your comfort zone is so damn smooth. The bands that did play the prom, StABBA and  Motörböat were great though.  You can’t beat an metal ABBA or Motörhead coverband, shit’s just too awesome.

It took Bridget, Margaret, and I about two hours to get ready, but it was worth it, because we looked like bad ass bitches.  It’s always good to have an Ozzy Osbourne shirt with the sleeves ripped off for special occasions.

Prom, bitches.

I said once and I’ll say it again, metal is hilarious

Good times.  Last month Truman also learned how to dip a chip, use his fork properly, and make fart sounds on command.  Also, we’ve been taking walks around the neighborhood because I am tired of my legs looking like glazed hams.  GOALS!  Man, I am excited for what the rest of 2013 will bring; hopefully more impromptu hot dog parties and maybe Truman will finally master riding a skateboard.  Smell y’all later. Listen to this Supremes cover of a Beatles song, it’s the tits.

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My Patented Closet Organizing System 3000


Are you an imbecile who likes to make life as difficult and complicated as possible?

Do you ever look in the mirror and say, “I sure do wish I could be more irritated with myself!”?

Do you enjoy arriving late for work or social functions looking frazzled and disheveled?

Then you need to follow Letty’s Personal Closet Organizing System, Version 3.0!

With my five point system, you can be beating your head against the wall in no time!

  • Step One:  Buy a  ton of eighties and nineties clothes from eBay, make sure they won’t fit you in a couple of years but are awesome enough that you will never want to get rid of them.  Bonus points if they are vintage concert t-shirts, but only for bands that you actually enjoy, DON’T FRONT.
  • Step Two:  Throw all of your clothes in pile on the floor of your closet.  Make a pathetic attempt to hang up a few items, but over several weeks wear the clothes from the hangers then add them to the pile, regardless of their cleanliness.
  •  Step Three: Ensure that your winter and summer clothes are all mixed up, so that when you are looking for a pair of jorts, you instead pull out 4 different sweatshirts with wildlife printed on them.
If you have them, toss in some maternity clothes.  It’s hilarious when your maternity jeans get tangled up with a pair that used to fit you three years ago.  Talk about contrasts! Try to make sure that the black cardigan you wear at least twice a week somehow gets lost in the vortex of clothing, so that when you’re ready to leave it will be nearly impossible to find.   This is also a great way to keep your loved ones waiting.  They love that!
  • Step Four: Take all of your shoes and throw them into a cardboard box and shove it in the dark recesses of your closet.  Put your practical shoes in the bottom of the box, and throw your various colored pumps, and paisley print Doc Martens on top.  Digging for shoes in the dark is fun!
  • Step Five: Buy more clothes.  Go to Forever 21, Old Navy, or Target and buy some cheap, trendy clothes.  If you don’t want to leave the house, order some from Delia*s as if you were still a fifteen-year-old girl.  Throw those clothes in the pile.  Of course you don’t have to don’t have to take off the tags first, you can do that later!

With my handy five point system, you can have your closet looking just like mine in no time:

Trapped in a Closet or DON’T JUDGE ME

Call today! No really, please call me.  I just changed my ringtone to the theme song from Taxi and I would love to hear that funky groove.

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New Summer Hair! or How to Terrify Your Baby


Oh hey guys, did I mention it’s summer?  If you couldn’t tell by the stifling heat outside,  the distinct aroma of  intermingling body odors, or if you don’t have a calendar, I am a valuable resource for you.  Anyway blahdeblee, it’s summer.  To celebrate my second to last favorite season, I decided I needed new summery hair.  My awesome friend Brian, a talented stylist, decided to HOOK ME UP.  The first iteration of my summer hair  left me with a few blondish streaks in my bang swoop.  It was what neither of us wanted.  Chad said that I either looked like an Asian college student from the early 2000’s or a gay Puerto Rican boy, both accurate assessments. Unfortunately I do not have any photographic proof of this chic look.

We decided to go for round two Monday night.  The first step involved applying bleach to my hair to get rid of the black.  Brian said a lot of sciency things about hydrogen bonds so I knew I was in good hands.  Do you remember the 90’s?  My bleached locks sure did.  I simultaneously looked the most Mexican I have ever looked and like an extra from Hackers.  Truman was TERRIFIED.  He took one look at me with yellow hair and his eyes grew wide(r),  his little bottom lip started quivering, and he burst out in tears.  He wouldn’t even let me hold him.  I had to put on a hat, it did not fool him. I then tried nursing him to calm him down. At first he started suckling voraciously, but then he stopped. He glanced up at me cautiously, then tentatively started to nurse again unsure if I was actually his mother or a blond she-demon.  He eventually decided on the latter, used all of his baby might to squirm away from me as if my skin was on fire, and howled at the top of his lungs.  Who could blame him really?

I am applying purple lipstick in this photo. ~~MI VIDA LOCA~~

Luckily, this was only temporary.  Brian applied a café au lait color to my hair with rich honey tones and in the end everyone, including Truman, was happy.  It is bit lighter than it looks in the picture and  I am still getting adjusted to it, but I like it! I’ve never lightened my hair before but I figured, what the hell.  Come fall I will return to a darker, more subdued color, but for now it’s all about being light and summery.

For the record, I still look like a gay Puerto Rican boy.

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CORAL! CORAL! CORAL!


The above title was meant to be read like TORA! TORA! TORA!  because I am a giant dork.  Well, summer is upon us, and for me, that means a few  things:  boob sweat, sno-cones (I prefer Sno-Beach because I like to ogle the pretty high school girls who work there), and coral colored lips.  I am quite makeup savvy (no I’m not) and I like to coordinate my lip color with the seasons.  Come fall/winter I will probably write a post called Red, Red, Wine, or something stupid like that  highlighting my favorite deep, rich  lip colors.  But now, it is summer, and I like my lips to pop with a wash of bright color.  This year I have really been digging different shades of coral.  Tangerines and corals hues are EVERYWHERE this season, and I’ve found that in addition to being a shit ton of fun, they are also very flattering to my skin tone.

I CANNOT stop buying coral lip color. Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULL ME BACK IN.  I have about six or seven different coral lip products, varying from glosses to stains.  Of course I have favorites, so I have decided to share with you my favorite three shades of coral lip color in increasing intensity.  WARNING: Gratuitous pictures of my face are to follow, so if you don’t like gaze upon my visage– TURN BACK NOW.

Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss in Coral Reef

We will start mild, this is Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss in Coral Reef.  I remember seeing this gloss in a magazine and flipped my shit because I had to have it.  It is a go to lip gloss that goes well with everything and layers well over other colors.  It is pretty and natural.

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Rendezvous

Now we are getting a little more wild.  This coral is all like POP POP!  I guess this color is leaning more towards the orangey side than coral, but it’s still very pretty. I would wear this color to brunch and drink copious amounts of mimosas.  I must say, I am crazy in love with this balm stain.  It is refreshingly minty and the color really has staying power.  I also have it in Lovesick, a blinding hot pink shade.  Another product, Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Tutti Frutti achieves the same desired coraly effect.

Rimmel London Lasting Finish by Kate in 12

WHOA WHOA WHOA!  Who is this sassy lady with such beautiful bold lips?! This lip color is the equivalent ten thousand shoulder shimmies.  When I wear this lipstick I feel like muthafucking SHEILA E. living The Glamorous Life.  I love it, it is perfect for a debaucherous evening out with the ~ladiez~.  You could be dressed like a total slob but if you smear this all over your lips you will feel like a million bucks.  This lipstick also has the added bonus of being designed by Kate Moss.  No, it does not make your lips feel numb.

Well, that was the coral roundup.  I apologize for the quality of the photos, Chad wasn’t home so I had to take them myself Myspace style.  You would think after many vain years of taking photos of myself I would be better at it, but NOOOOOO.  Anyways, coral lips are fun, perfect for summer, and will look good on anyone.  Get your coral lipstick TODAY-AY-AY-AY ::fades out::

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